“I’m comfortable in the chaos,” I admitted with hesitation. I knew saying it made it real, and now it would be something I’d have to let go of. “I’m so used to struggling and being broken or damaged… it may not be enjoyable, but it’s known and familiar.”

It was true. I didn’t know how to be, just… okay.
After all, I hadn’t been ‘okay’ in a while.

“I don’t understand,” I said with that well-worn frustration that had colored the last six months, “I’m just supposed to make enough money and be in healthy relationships and be good all the time? What is that even?!”

He laughed, as he did, because he loved when I had ahas. Because he knew what I knew… it was real now, and it was something I could finally let go of.

It’s been a year and a half since that conversation. Since I recognized a part of me that found so much comfort in chaos. Since I began the work to untangle that way of being and began finding my footing inside a life that is more stable, supportive, healthy, and loving. Since I did the work to clear out the relationships, ways of being, and tolerations that were keeping me small and stuck. Since I began demanding more from life, myself, my work, and my relationships.

I no longer find comfort in chaos, a sense of certainty in struggle. Mostly because now I see how unnecessary it is.

How we’re always one choice away from creating something different. Not in that ‘just be positive’ spiritually bypassing sort of way… but in remembering that we always have the power to create what we desire.

Always.

Even in the most chaotic of experiences.

Making that choice will break you clean in two sometimes. It will break your heart and ask you to let go of more than you ever thought you were capable of living without. It will challenge you to grow in ways you’re not certain you can. It will feel like one step forward and five crashing steps backward more often than not.

But it is always within our reach.

Learning new ways of being is some of the most challenging work we’ll ever do, because it requires letting go of everything you believed kept you safe, loved, and secure. Everything that brought you to where you are now. Alive, successful, belonging, and out of harm’s way.

But oftentimes, the only way to move into what comes next… to step into who you’re here to be and the work you’re here to do… is to release your attachment to what’s kept you safe, loved, and secure. You have to be willing to risk comfort and certainty and leap wholeheartedly into the unknown.

The only way to move into what comes next… is to release your attachment to what’s kept you safe, loved, & secure. You have to be willing to risk comfort & certainty & leap wholeheartedly into the unknown. @StephenieZ (Click to Tweet!)

All I can say is that it was worth it.
That my life and work and relationships are immensely better.
And that I am far happier than I ever was clinging to chaos.

I thought it was a lifeline… it was really just an anchor.

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Stephenie Zamora is an author and life coach, business and marketing strategist, and founder of CallOfTheVoid.tv., where she merges the worlds of personal development, energy healing, intuitive coaching, writing, and mixed media art to help individuals rise up and come back from the darkest, hardest chapters of life. She guides her clients through the challenging process of re-orienting to their lives, relationships, and work in a way that’s fully aligned with who they’ve become in the aftermath of loss, trauma, depression, and big life changes. After struggling with PTSD, grief, and anxiety from a sudden and traumatic loss, she navigated her own difficult healing journey, and has set out to help others find the purpose of their own path using The Hero’s Journey as a framework. She is also the founder of Stephenie Zamora Media, the author of Awesome Life Tips®, creator of Journey Mapping Sessions, and is currently working on a second book, Unravel. Her work has been featured on The Huffington Post, Yahoo Shine, Elite Daily, Positively Positive, and many other publications over the years. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or at www.CallOfTheVoid.tv.

The post Comfort in Chaos, Certainty in Struggle appeared first on Positively Positive.

Source: Positively Positive

Sunday, May 12 is Mother’s Day in the United States and Canada.

Some people think it’s ridiculous to celebrate holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day – that these are just commercial holidays forced on us by clever marketers. But I think it’s nice to be prompted to think lovingly about your mother and your father, and the mothers and fathers in your life.

I often contemplate an observation made by my spiritual master, St. Therese of Lisieux, in her extraordinary memoir, The Story of a Soul.

While writing about being blamed for things and scolded for little transgressions in her convent, she noted, “I noticed this: when one performs her duty, never excusing herself, no one knows it; on the contrary, imperfections appear immediately.”

So true, right? You do something perfectly and reliably, nobody notices. You make a mistake, everyone complains.

This is particularly true of parenthood, which involves a myriad of tasks, small but pesky and relentless, that need to be done without fail. “I packed lunch for four years,” a friend told me, “and all I hear about – to this day – is that time in first grade when I forgot to put in my son’s dessert.”

It’s true that parents don’t get a gold star for everything they do right, but often, just hear about it when they mess up. But it’s also true that, as my mother once told me, “The things that go wrong often make the best memories.” Here’s an example.

Of the countless times in my childhood when my mother drove carpool, or picked me up to go to an orthodontist’s appointment, or wherever, I have only the haziest recollections. All I remember is the time when she was very late picking me up. But this is an important memory.

It was a very snowy day when I was in grade school — fourth grade, I think — and my mother was late. She’s completely reliable, so I was anxious about the fact that she wasn’t there, and I was embarrassed about being left over when all the other kids had gone home, and I was worried about what would happen if she didn’t show up. She didn’t come, and she didn’t come, and finally I was sent to wait in the library, in the main building of the school, until someone came to get me.

It got later and later. I could feel the building emptying out. Still no sign of my mother. The snow was getting heavier. I was getting more and more anxious.

Finally, I saw my mother coming up the steps to the library, and I had to fight back the urge to burst into tears from sheer relief. I was so happy to see her! She was staggering under the weight of my sister, who was probably four or five years old, both of them covered with snow, and she was slipping around on the unshoveled walkway as she battled her way to the door.

And I thought to myself, “Nothing can ever stop my mother from coming for me.”

I remember that her car had become stuck on a patch of ice, but I have no recollection of what happened next. Did my father come to get us, did the school receptionist give us a ride? I’ve never asked my mother about that afternoon, so perhaps my memory isn’t even accurate. But that’s how I remember it.

And that’s how I think about my mother.

---

Gretchen Rubin is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller The Happiness Project—an account of the year she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier—and the recently released Happier at Home and Better Than Before. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness. For more doses of happiness and other happenings, follow Gretchen on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Image courtesy of Jordan Rowland.

The post In Honor of Mother’s Day, One of My Happiest Memories of My Mother. appeared first on Positively Positive.

Source: Positively Positive

This weekend, my family (along with many others) will celebrate Mother’s Day. It is a time to honor those amazing women who love, encourage, and care for children. Of course, with Father’s Day right around the corner as well, the subject of family is center in our thoughts this time of year.

Family has always been a central component of my life—and my journey into minimalism. In fact, my introduction to minimalism stemmed from the realization that all of the stuff I owned was actually keeping me from more important things, like spending time with my family.

I was recently asked on Facebook how I define success. I responded with this statement, “Success to me is faithfulness to God, my family, and the work I’ve been placed on this earth to accomplish.” Clearly, family is never far from the top of my priorities.

I think we can all agree that family is important. But if you want to hear it from the experts—kids, of course—check out this quick (and super cute) video:

But around the world, many kids are still longing to be part of a family. Millions of orphaned children are growing up in institutions rather than in a loving family environment. In November 2015, my wife Kim and I, along with a few other individuals, decided to change that.

With the support of the Becoming Minimalist community, we founded The Hope Effect, a nonprofit organization on a mission to change the way the world cares for orphans.

In developing countries, orphans are commonly placed in institutional care, which research shows has damaging effects such as stunted development and delayed learning abilities.

At The Hope Effect, we know there’s a better way. We know that children belong in families. That’s why we are working tirelessly to bring family-based solutions to orphans around the world.

Our model of care mimics the family unit, with two parents and no more than 6-8 children in a household. This type of loving, family-style environment provides opportunities for children to flourish and thrive.

The Becoming Minimalist community has been instrumental in the growth and success of The Hope Effect, and I am so grateful. You have literally contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars. Because of your passion, we are providing family-style care to children in multiple locations in Mexico and Honduras.

• In Chihuahua, Mexico, we are helping expand foster care to provide families for many of the 1,500 children currently living in institutional care in Chihuahua City.
• In Santa Rosa, Honduras, we are providing transitional care to children who are waiting for foster and adoptive families to become available.
• And we are close to obtaining government approval to pioneer our unique model of orphan care in San Luis Río Colorado, a small town in Sonora, Mexico, on the U.S.-Mexico border.

You can learn more about all of our projects here.

This is possible because of you—you are changing the way the world cares for orphans!

And if you’d like to continue to partner with us, you can make a difference in the life of a child… for just one dollar a day.

I’m excited to introduce our Dollar a Day Team—a new opportunity to provide loving, family-style care for orphans in need. What exactly does one dollar a day accomplish? Just one dollar a day opens up a home for an orphan currently in institutional care. One dollar a day provides continued family-style care for that child.

One dollar a day gets a child into a family.

I believe this work is critical—that’s why I am doubling your impact in the month of May! I will match the donations of the first 50 people who join the team, for the first entire year. Minimalism has provided me with so many benefits, including opportunities to practice generosity. Will you join me during the month of May?

The Hope Effect is a 501(c)(3) organization, so your donation is tax-deductible within the U.S. And because we know you want your donation to be used for the reason it was given, you can choose to direct 100% of your gift for orphan care work.

Thank you for embracing the mission of The Hope Effect over the last several years. You are making such a difference in the lives of children in need.

Together, we are changing how the world cares for orphans.

Source: Becoming Minimalist

I spent a good majority of my life being terrified of summer. I was afraid of the way my legs looked in shorts, bathing suits were a hard pass, and I couldn’t hide my body in baggy clothes like I did all winter. Not to mention, it was almost impossible to wear shorts, skirts, and dresses without being in severe pain from all the chafing. Summer fashion was basically my enemy for years.

Now that I’ve started embracing my body for what it is and finding ways to dress that make me feel confident, I look forward to shopping for new pieces to add to my wardrobe every year. This summer, I’m taking a step back from trends and focusing on investing in basics that I can pair with trendier items and accessories for an effortless look. (I do not have time to be messing around with anything else!) So, I’m sharing the essentials (and favorite pieces) in my closet for summer that are all available in plus-sizes. WOOT!

 

Flowy Shorts

There is nothing I hate more than shorts that you have to pull away from your body because they stick to you. These are the kind of shorts that basically swore me away from wearing them for years. Instead, I’m going for flowier options. A paper-bag style adds sophistication, whereas a mom-style denim is casual for a festival or outdoor party.

 

Lightweight Tanks

When it’s too hot to even picture putting anything on your body, a lightweight, cotton tank should be your go-to. You can dress them up with a cardigan or jacket for work or pair it with jeans and a tote for weekend. When you’re going from work to rooftop, taking off a layer is easier than ever. When the weather isn’t sweltering hot, I’m loving sweater fabrics; however, hot weather calls for light cotton and sweat-wicking silk.

Versatile Rompers

If I could only wear one item of clothing for the entire season, it would be a romper. You can dress it up with heels or pop over a denim jacket for brunch. You don’t have to worry about a wind moment, and it’s the easiest outfit to put together because it’s all one piece. Typically, a romper with a fitted waist is going to be the most flattering and will show off the fact that you’re actually wearing a romper.

 

Breathable Fabrics for Work

I have never been inside an office that is an optimal temperature. You’re either freezing or sweating — there is no in-between. So, this summer, I’m investing in breathable, lightweight fabrics that don’t cause me to sweat but won’t be cold either. You can pair these tops with shorts for a casual day or with slacks and jeans for work. Bonus points for button-ups that actually fit your chest — it’s a hard knock life for basically anyone over a C cup in a button-up top.

 

Midi Skirts

The midi skirt has been everywhere the past year or so, and I predict we’ll see them even more this summer. They’re the perfect way to add a little glam to an outfit that is still modest and comfortable. From florals to animal prints to fun colors to different fabrics, there are so many ways to go about this look. My favorite way to pair a midi skirt is with a simple plain white tee and some sneakers or sandals; however, you can easily dress it up with a belted blazer or blouse tucked in.

 

Wide Leg Pants

I never thought I’d stray from my skinny jeans. I assumed a wide pant would make me look, well, wide. Then, I tried them. There’s no looking back. Sayonara, skinny pants, you won’t be missed! These are the most comfortable way to wear pants in the summer. They’re breezy, soft, and pair with pretty much anything. The only tricky styling sitch is shoes, but I’d say you can pretty much get away with any sandal, flat, or mule!

 

Detailed One-Piece Swimsuits

You can’t talk about summer essentials without a swimsuit. While I really thought about including a two-piece here (so many plus-size women are terrified to rock a two-piece, and I’m here to tell you I’ve been there, and you’ll get there one day!), my one-pieces are the swimsuits that hold my heart. Not only do I feel equally as confident and sexy in a one-piece, but I feel more comfortable — I’m never worrying about anything spilling out, and it makes the walk to and from the beach a breeze. (My trusty denim cut-offs are the perfect cover-up!) This season, there are so many amazing plus-size swim options out there aside from the typical black classic one-piece. Look for interesting details like a belt, ruffles, or cut-outs to amp up a solid swimsuit.

 

Tell us — what can you absolutely not live without during the summer?!

The post The Best New Plus-Size Pieces for Summer appeared first on The Everygirl.

Source: The Everygirl

In today’s world, styles change as quickly as a scroll on Instagram, and sometimes, new seasons bring cravings for change — a new lip color, a new dress, and a new hair style. Whether you’re looking for a dramatic chop or just a slight trim to switch things up, we’ve collected the most on-trend haircuts that all your favorite celebrities and #haircrushes will be rocking all summer long. Think: edgy angles, tousled styles, and a fuss-free appeal — the perfect combination of stylish and effortless. From Vanessa Hudgens to Taylor Swift, here are the celeb-favorite haircuts we’ll be copying for the summer:

 

Above-the-Shoulder Blunt Cut

 

Angular Shoulder-Length Bob

 

 

The Shag

 

 

Long Layers

 

Wispy Bangs

 

 

Which hairstyle is your favorite for summer?

The post Currently Trending: The Coolest Celebrity Haircuts to Copy for Summer appeared first on The Everygirl.

Source: The Everygirl

Lost is a feeling. It’s not your destiny in life, it’s not a jail sentence, and it sure doesn’t mean that you’re a total failure or that you peaked in high school. Does it feel all-encompassing right now? Totally. But the good news is that you don’t need to have your entire life figured out in order to stop feeling so lost. You’ve just got to believe in yourself a little bit more than you do today.

When you’re feeling lost, typically one of two things is happening. You may have achieved something that you always wanted — like that huge promotion, moving to the city of your childhood dreams, or the prestigious degree – and then the bottom fell out on that big goal. It’s not that it wasn’t amazing, it’s just that it didn’t solve the bigger lingering feeling of where’s this all going? You’re where you always wanted to be and yet you don’t exactly want to be there.

Alternatively, the other thing happening when you feeling lost is perhaps that all your life you went along with a path you were supposed to want or were told to want. But you’re older and wiser now and you’ve had it with the shoulds. You don’t want this path just because you’re supposed to, because your family thinks it’s the right thing to do, or just because society says so.

In either scenario, you don’t want what you have. But you don’t know where else you do want to be. So, what the heck are you supposed to do right now? If it sounds familiar, it’s because we’ve all been there. You’re so not alone.

Myself included. I’m so lost is the one phrase I’ve heard in almost every conversation I’ve had in my many years working in women’s leadership. I talk to women for a living, facilitating their stories and writing about them — so that’s thousands and thousands and thousands of women. It’s why wrote an entire book called You’re Not Lost – to help anyone feeling this way to find direction. Because when I looked for how to help myself or any of the women feeling lost… I didn’t find much more than well-intentioned but completely unhelpful advice.

The unhelpful advice I found for people feeling lost was a bunch of truisms you DON’T need when you’re unsure of where you’re going: Just figure out the big picture! You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be! Know your purpose! Follow your passions! It’s meant well, but this shit just doesn’t work when you’re in the throes of your lost feelings. Rather, you simply need to take a few super small actions that will deepen your sense of self belief. It’s the main ingredient in finding the direction you’re hoping for. Here are three tiny steps you can take this summer to help figure it out:

 

1. Stop Big-Picture Planning

You heard me right. All that obsessing over your 10-years goals and trying to come up with a grand vision for your life isn’t going to help you when you’re feeling lost. It’s just going to make you feel more stuck, or it’s going put you on a path that’s not actually aligned with where you want to be headed. Instead you should be looking backwards, not forward. You should be reflecting, which is really easy to do under a sun umbrella with a pen or your phone. The answer to where you’re going is in the stories of where you’ve already been.  Ask yourself these questions:

• In the last few years, when did I feel the most energized? What was I doing? Who was I with? What was I working on?
• In the last few years, when did I feel the most proud? What was I doing, working on, or involved with?
• In the last few years, when did I feel the most inspired? Where was I? What actions was I taking?

 

 

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A post shared by Maxie McCoy (@maxiemccoy) on Jan 31, 2019 at 5:45pm PST

 

2. Survey Your Girl Gang

Feeling lost can be isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. So often you expect that you’re supposed to have all the answers to your life, but you miss this incredible treasure chest of insights from the people around you. When you’re feeling anything but confident, talking to your cheerleaders can help. These are the people in your life that always believe in you. They get you. And they’re always in your corner. Not everything is about internal validation. Sometimes you need to understand how amazing and unstoppable the people around you think that you are, and eventually you’ll come to see and believe the same. Pick a few of your biggest cheerleaders and ask them these questions:

1. What makes me irreplaceable?
2. Where do you see me in five years?
3. What are my unique skills or values?
4. What’s holding me back?

Remember, ask these questions of cheerleaders only. No Negative Nancy’s allowed in this survey game.

 

3. Take One Tiny Step

Once you’ve asked yourself some important questions, and asked the people closest to you some important questions, you’re ready to do something about it. You’re ready to take a step. You don’t need to use the insights from any of these answers to create a brand new life, or to take a giant leap. You simply need to do something impossibly small about anything that came up in yours or your cheerleaders’ answers that really aligned and excited you.

Let’s say your bestie said she sees you doing something design-related, aesthetically driven… something with interiors. And you couldn’t agree more. But you’re thinking WHAT IS THAT??, and plus, you’re currently an executive assistant at some huge corporation, so it’s a pretty major deal. That’s OK. You don’t need to know the ‘what.’ Or ‘how.’ You simply need to ask yourself, “What’s the absolute smallest thing I can do right now that aligns with this energy (the design/aethetic/biz-owner energy)?” Like talking to your mom’s friend that runs and interior design firm, reading that Q+A on what an event designer actually does, or creating a Pinterest board with your favorite aesthetics. Figure out something small and go do it. And then go do something else tiny and small the next day — and every day and week after. Each step will build momentum that you couldn’t have planned for.

You don’t have to know where you’re going in order to begin. Trust me, just begin and you’ll develop a belief in yourself so potent that the path will unfold as you’re stepping, and you’ll be OK with the fact your future is a little fuzzy. As soon as you decide to start, that’s when the lost feelings start to dissipate.

 

The post Feeling Totally Lost? Here Are 3 Things to Do This Summer That Will Help appeared first on The Everygirl.

Source: The Everygirl

Our lives ask us to die and be reborn every time we confront change – change within ourselves and change in our world. When we descend all the way down to the bottom of a loss, and dwell patiently, with an open heart, in the darkness and pain, we can bring back up with us the sweetness of life and the exhilaration of inner growth. When there is nothing left to lose, we find the true self — the self that is whole, the self that is enough, the self that no longer looks to others for definition, or completion, or anything but companionship on the journey. This is the way to live a meaningful and hopeful life — a life of real happiness and inner peace.

Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open

Source: Mindfulbalance

You’re reading 6 Benefits of Mind-Boggling Games for Child Development, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Games are synonymous with activity. Playing is a basic human need and practically all humans enjoy to play. Playing games is not just an activity used to pass time, for leisure or relaxation but psychologists recommend playing mind-boggling games since they are an important part of the learning experience especially in children.
All parents and caregivers should not only encourage and value their children’s play but also join in the play activities while guiding them. The gameplay is a brilliant way of helping a child to develop their growing brain. Puzzles and crosswords are able to help strengthen specific abilities like cognition, memory, and even improve concentration.  According to a study conducted and published in the Lancet Child & Adolescent Health, limiting children’s screen time linked to better cognition.

Potential benefits of games in child development

• Improvement of Problem Solving Abilities

Usually, the goal of completing most puzzles and crosswords is to come up with a solution to a problem. One can only ‘win’ the game with an appropriate solution and correct implementation. Therefore, these games assist in the improvement of the critical thinking ability of a child. The child acquires tolerance, persistence and determination. In playing mind-boggling games, they will learn how to break down huge and compound problems into smaller parts logically and these can, therefore, be easily solved.
Additionally, the child achieves a sense of accomplishment when she successfully solves a puzzle. This results in a boost of the confidence level of the child in their problem-solving skills.

• Enhancement of Fine Motor Skills

The enhancement of motor skills is an important development phase in children that usually begins even before the ability to hold items in hand is achieved. Games can help speed up the learning process. When a child holds avatars and uses them to play a game, this ultimately improves their ability to grasp and to let go of objects.
Additionally, it enhances their eye-hand coordination. Puzzles and crosswords played using avatars have a positive influence on fine motor skills, such as swiftness, precision, dexterity and positioning.

• Improvement in Concentration

In order to complete a mind-boggling game successfully, brain concentration is needed. These games, therefore, can help enhance the attention span in a child. By changing the difficulty level of the game, the desired level of attention can be monitored and controlled. Once a child plays at ease on a certain level, the difficulty can then be increased to arouse the brain to build attention skills.
Memory games exercise the brain, leading to one being more sharp and alert. Playing memory stimulation games for at least thirty minutes each day improves your concentration and brain focus. They also help in the enhancement of other brain functions, such as attention level, comprehension, creativity, and wits.

• Social Skills Improvement

There are many different kinds of games from which an individual can choose to enjoy. There are games that are played alone, in groups, and with teams. Crosswords and puzzles that involve partners help children in learning how to share, tolerate, coordinate, take lead and follow.
Most puzzle games, especially multi-player ones, are designed to test an individual’s social skills. The games can be used to monitor and improve children’s social and emotional skills and could enable parents and caregivers to spot issues in the behavior of children early enough giving them ample time to improve their behavior.
Additionally, games with challenging problems help children learn how to deal with the frustration that builds up as one tries to crack a level.

• Improvement in Cognitive Abilities and IQ

Education basically will involve the enhancement of skills such as developing research skills, language skills, improving cognitive abilities, and creativity. Some games can actually make you smarter.
According to a study conducted by scientists from Queen Mary University of London and University College London, some of the puzzle games will be of great help in training the brain to become more agile and enhance strategic thinking. Two groups of volunteers were selected to play different versions of a mind-boggling game. The third group of volunteers played a simple game.
The researchers discovered that the members of the group that played the complex crosswords and puzzles were quicker and more accurate in execution of cognitive flexibility tasks than those who played the simple puzzles.

• An Awesome Way To Pass Time

Playing crosswords and puzzles is also an awesome way to pass time. When a child is playing these games in the comfort of their home, the parent can be assured of the safety of the child while at the same time monitoring the types of games the child is engaging in.
Puzzle games have for a long time now been an important element in the lives of many children. Since now the puzzles and crosswords are available in software form and applications, children are spending much more time playing games now than they did in the past. In recent years, children worldwide have been spending more time playing games on mobile apps than they have been spending watching television. In general, too much of television has a negative impact on education as it competes for a student’s attention and time. Crosswords and puzzles on software applications have widely reduced time spent on watching television by children.
Conclusion
While the benefits of playing puzzles and crosswords are evident, it is still important to control the amount of time a child indulges in gameplay. Also of importance is to control the type of games the child plays. Crosswords and puzzles are the best and the easy availability of Crossword Answers 911  makes it even more fun.
The fact that puzzle and crossword games are also cheap to buy and can be used for a long time does not hurt either.

You’ve read 6 Benefits of Mind-Boggling Games for Child Development, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Source: Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Source: Bits Of Wisdom